HI GUYS IT’S YA GIRL MADISON! AND GUESS WHAT?! I HAD MY BABYYYYYYYY! AND SHE DIIIIIIIIIED! Well, I think she did. Not really sure yet. Maybe you can help me!! (Probs not though because almost all of you are like r-word tarded haha)
So remember my dumb sister Gina and then my gross brother and my sad story about not finding a boyfriend and then learning I’m not a virgin anymore and then why I was sad? Wow that’s a lot to know! But you should know it if you don’t because I’m like awesome lol. MADISON!
Yeeeeeeah so like I was having headaches and I mind-told Gaykev back at home and he was like “uuuuuuuuuuuugggflflflflf” so I regular-told the school nurse and she had me go home. Mom picked me up and then had to go back to work, so she left me there alone. Then, like, I started to bleed out my eyes lol it was hilarious kinda like I was crying blood but I wasn’t crying because I was watching the nice black man on TV with all the funny answers to questions but yeahhhh blood! Out my eyes!
I thought it was a little weird if I do say so myself (I love saying if I do say so myself it makes me sound so sophisticated if I do say so myself lol) so I called the Hierophant and he came over like RIGHT AWAY and made it seem like a BIG DEAL. I don’t see what the big deal was. I love Katniss but if she died it wouldn’t be that big a deal I guess babies die all the time. Especially around me lololol shhhhhhh.
Annnnnywayyyyyyyy the Hierophant had me lie down and he said stuff like chanting about “bodies in bodies and bodies of bodies” and “Black God” and all that then everything got SUPER BLURRY I swear it was like Gaykev was drooling in my eyes again but he was chained up out back so I know it couldn’t have been him but like it was still warm and drooly but like DROOLY ENERGY you know? I bet you know.
I felt a ton of pressure behind my eyes like Katniss was kicking again but then it started to itch a LOT and the Hierophant reached down and took his finger and like pushed my eye allllllllll the way to the side and it hurt a lot but then there was this sucking noise and with my other eye I saw him pulling something that looked like clumps of fettuccine out. Guys guys guys guys guys. I gotta tell you something: I LOVE FETTUCCINE.
So like you have to expect when I love something as much as I love fettuccine I’m gonna talk about it when I see it so when the Hierophant was pulling out the fettuccine I kept telling him how much I love fettuccine and that fettucine is my favorite and asking him if he’d share the fettuccine with Katniss while he’s in there and whether or not he was interested in eating the fettuccine with me and can you believe it? He told me to be quiet! I was so super surprised because he never told me anything like that before and I was just trying to communicate – like communication is GOOD for people but no he thought his work was more important so he just kept pulling and pulling the stuff out.
I guess I went to sleep because when I woke up he was still there and still pulling and he was like “I’m almost done Madison” and I was like “good because I can’t wait to eat fettuccine” and then he finally said “Madison that isn’t fettuccine” and I was like “what are you talking about it looks like fettuccine” and he said “shh” so I did but I still thought about fettuccine.
Like AN HOUR LATER he was all done and he let me sit up. On the floor near the couch was a big ol pile of stuff that looked a h*ck of a lot like fettuccine but I guess I could tell it wasn’t even though I still wanted some. It was really clumpy and stringy and smelled pretty bad and I was like “did Katniss make that” and the Hierophant just said “Madison that is Katniss.”
GUYS I WAS SO SHOCKED. Like, I’d expected a baby-baby. Not a weird wormy fettuccine baby. It took me a second and I stared at the Hierophant thinking he was making some kind of joke but he just kept chanting stuff over the pile of not-fettuccine and it hit me. Guys. IT WAS KATNISS! My little girl!
Well I got off the couch and hugged the pile of Katniss fettuccine and it kinda like wriggled and sighed and right then I felt what all new moms must feel when they hold their baby for the first time, like oh my God.
So like we snuggled for a little while and Katniss crawled around in my hair and stuff and I tried to like stick my boob in her a couple times in case she was hungry but she didn’t seem interested which was fine because like I thought it was weird to have my boob out in the living room lol. But yeah the Hierophant said one last then then Katniss STOPPED MOVING GUYS.
I was freaking out like oh my god Katniss are you okay but the Hierophant just said “she’s dead Madison” and I was just like oh, okay but like she’s still my baby and stuff and we can do things with her now that she isn’t stuck to life anymore right and the Hierophant was like “yeah that’s what we’ve been waiting all this time for.”
So AWESOME, right? I had my baby, my baby died, and now all the great stuff can finally start. The Hierophant is leading Gaykev into the living room and starting to stuff pieces of Katniss back into his dumb brainless head lol I love ya Gaykev and you know I think he’s actually getting smarter as more Katniss gets stuffed in there?
Right before he left, the Hierophant chained Gaykev up again and took some Katniss and swallowed her. “Bodies in bodies,” he said to me as he left. “Bodies of bodies!!” I yelled back. Lol I don’t know what any of it means but it sounds cool and I think a lot of fun stuff is gonna happen. I sure hope it’s fettuccine if I do say so myself.